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Hey, you know what sucks? Watching porn with condoms in it. It’s just so icky. Feels too real. When I watch porn, I want to be whisked away to a fantasy land were sexually aggressive woman are up for my most perverse fantasies, not be reminded of the sad, sad, sad state of my own boning.
“Man, that dude put on his condom without losing his erection. I wish I could do that. Also, he gets to sleep with girls. A lot. I don’t feel like masturbating anymore.”
/uses the hand towel I brought into bed to wipe away tears.
But I no longer have to worry about that, because the California Safety Board ruled that a law requiring porn stars to wear condoms is illegal.
Boosh man. Boosh. Porn will stay porn.*
*Remember, porn is fantasy, and that many of the actions you see in it are neither pleasurable to nor preferred by the women in your life. Have an adult conversation with your partner before engaging in any act you’ve seen in porn, including (especially) condomless sex.
That said, boosh.
Boosh.
[H/T @FilmDrunk]