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The Cleveland Cavaliers made a blockbuster trade in sending Kyrie Irving to the Boston Celtics for fellow point guard Isaiah Thomas, defensive forward Jae Crowder, and the rights to the Brooklyn Nets’ 2018 draft pick, which has a good chance of being a lottery pick. Now that Kyrie has been shipped out of town, the Cavs are said to be focused on signing Dwyane Wade and reunite him with LeBron James to rekindle their winning ways from their Miami days. So the movement to get Carmelo Anthony to the Cavs is dead right? Well, not necessarily.

Anthony has a no-trade clause and is said to only welcome a trade where he goes to the Cavs or the Houston Rockets. The Cavs are set for an immediate rebuild should LeBron bolt out of Cleveland again. With a one-year window, the Cavs would be motivated to stock up on as much talent as possible to challenge the Golden State Warriors in the NBA Finals. Possibly adding Melo could give them enough firepower to dethrone the super team known as the Warriors.

To make this deal happen, they would have to wait until October 22 to trade Crowder, who can’t be traded for 60 days of being traded. To match up the money, the Cavs would probably also trade Iman Shumpert and Channing Frye to the New York Knicks in addition to a draft pick. The 33-year-old Anthony has an opt-out clause after 2017-18, allowing him to follow LeBron to Los Angeles.

Another scenario is if Melo isn’t traded in the offseason and the Knicks are out of contention of the playoffs by February, which is totally possible, New York could waive Anthony outright with no buyout agreement. The final option year would count on the Knicks’ cap in the summer of 2018, unless he forgoes his 2018-19 option year to join LeBron on the Lakers. Melo would be free in February to sign with the Cavaliers or go to the Rockets with his friend Chris Paul. All interesting scenarios.

[NYP]

The Cleveland Cavaliers were pretty desperate to trade Kyrie Irving away after the disgruntled star told the team he didn’t want to play alongside LeBron James. According to ESPN’s Marc Spears, Cavs GM Koby Altman floated the idea of trading Kyrie Irving to the Warriors for Klay Thompson which was quickly rejected by the reigning champions.

Via The Undefested

It would be hard to believe that Altman could have landed a better trade than the Boston one. He did call the uninterested Warriors about Klay Thompson, a source said.

Klay Thompson appeared to be flattered by the trade rumors.

While Kyrie for Klay would have been crazy the Cavs were lucky the Warriors passed because they eventually got a better deal from the Celtics.

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Rory McIlory is Irish. Connor McGregor is  also Irish. So it is no secret that McIlroy is rooting for him on Saturday night. Not only is he pulling for McGregor to win, McIlroy offered up one hell of a theory as to how and why he think it might happen. His theory has more to do with Floyd Mayweather than it does McGregor, but I’ll be goddamned if it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

“I’m interested just to see how it all plays out, but I just fear that they do all this trash-talking and they go behind the scenes and they are having a laugh and thinking: I can’t believe we are talking all this public for a ride. We are all buying into it and they are like, can you believe these people believe this. I just hope it doesn’t turn into it and I hope it’s not in any way fixed. It’s amazing, like we were talking about, imagine McGregor knocks him out in the first couple of rounds. They would get even more for the rematch. The rematch would be even bigger. So it’s just — I just don’t know what that zero on Mayweather’s record is worth, and that’s the thing. That’s his legacy. If he goes down and lies down for ten seconds at some point in that, you know, is that worth making an extra few 100 million? That’s sort of up to him.”

Truth be told, I put money on McGregor when his odds were 10-1 so I really hope Mayweather takes a fucking dive so he can line himself up for yet another payday.

Whatever happens on Saturday night, no one is probably going to be satisfied with the outcome. Unless, of course, you had money on the outcome that occurred. Then you’ll probably be thoroughly thrilled with yourself.

[H/T FTW]

Ah, Drive By Dunk Challenge, we barely knew ye. James Harden showed us the most luxurious Drive By Dunk Challenge. Danny Ainge’s son nearly killed his pops with his version of it. And who will ever forget the many, many Drive By Dunk Challenge fails that made their way to the web, and our hearts?

Today, however, we say adieu to yet another viral internet trend as none other than Verne Troyer, the man who showed no mercy to Antonio Brown in a game of Madden, brings the Drive By Dunk Challenge to a most fitting end.

Watch as Troyer shows no mercy to the toddler hoop, throws the ball at the cameraman, then drives off in his mini-sports car like the goddamn boss that he is.

SEND IT IN, MINI ME!

Cast your vote and let us know!

YouTube

If you prefer not getting eaten by a shark, I suggest steering your boat clear of the Cape Cod waters. The Cape has seen a massive influx of great white sharks, a direct result of the increase in the gray seal population. For reference, in 2014 the National Park Service for Cape Cod counted 80 over the course of the summer and just last summer that went up to about 147.

On Monday, there were nine different shark sightings around Cape Cod, CBS News reports.

A particularly noteworthy sighting occurred at the Cape’s Nauset Beach, where a shark was seen feasting on a seal just feet from the shore sending swimmers scrambling for the beach.

Thayer Wade, who was on the beach reading and had shot the vide below, told CBS:

“I looked up and saw the dorsal fin and the tail of what was a great white shark. You didn’t know if it was a seal or a human so it was kind of a heart stopping moment.”

“They were like, ‘Shark! Shark! Get out of the water! Shark!’” O’Brien told Boston 25 News Monday. “I looked back and I could see all this blood coming out of the seal, just shooting out of him.”

There were two teenage surfers nearby who were able to get to shore safely. But that didn’t come without a scare.

“The guy who I pulled out, he thought his friend was dead, because he just looked down and he saw the blood and he heard the screaming,” witness Pat O’Brien said. “The seal made this awful sound. The seal was like screaming.”

The beach was evacuated and luckily no humans were hurt. As for the seal, the poor bastard didn’t stand a chance.

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[h/t Fox 25 Boston]

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There used to be a time when smartphones were considered a luxury item, but things have changed wildly since the iPhone burst onto the scene over a decade ago. Nowadays, you basically have to have an iPhone or an Android to be considered a member of polite society, which makes it hard to people with too much money and an innate need to overcompensate to set themselves apart.

Thankfully, Lamborghini has stepped in to fill the void with the launch of the Alpha One, the perfect phone for anyone who wants to let people know they’re insufferable without having to say a single word.

According to The Verge, the Android phone— which retails for the incredibly reasonable price of $2,450— is encased in handmade Italian leather and features a 5.5-inch display, a 20-megapixel camera (as opposed to the iPhone 7’s 12), a fingerprint scanner, and 4 GB of RAM with 64 GB of storage.

If you want to get your hands on the Alpha One, you’ll have to go to Harrod’s in the United Kingdom or visit a few select retailers in the United Arab Emirates, because of course you do.

After Isaiah Thomas was traded from the Celtics to the Cavs for point guard Kyrie Irving, several attention seeking Celtics fans took to Twitter to post videos of themselves burning their Isaiah Thomas jerseys.

On Thursday, an angry LeBron James defended his new teammate and blasted the Celtics fans who choose to burn their Isaiah Thomas jerseys.

It’s obvious that the above fans aren’t really angry with Thomas but are trolling for attention.

Of course the whole jersey burning stuff is a bit of a touchy subject for LeBron considering Cavs fans once burned his jersey when he left for Miami back in 2010.

Fresh off being put on five years probation for TWO counts grand theft, filing a false police report and possession of marijuana, the ‘Cash Me Ousside’ Girl, Danielle Bregoli, is back, baby.

Only now she has a new name, Bhad Bhabie. It’s pronounced “Bad Baby” and it’s her new rap name. Oh, you didn’t know that she was a rapper? Fo shizzle. She even has a debut track is called “These Heaux” and it’s quite the listen.

It’s actually rather impressive for a 14-year-old considering the topics she hits on in the song: sipping lean, Maybachs, fighting girls, stealing guys, giving a shout out to CeeLo Green. Wait, what?

Maybe this is why her tour got canceled. So she could have something to actually do on stage.

Here are some of the more choice lyrics from what is sure to be a gold record at some point because people are goddamn morons.

“These hoes be lackin’, see me in back and they talk all this shit but don’t say it in person.”

“Water, water drippin’, come take a peek. You in a trailer ho, bitch you can’t compete.”

She even hits on the red cup…

“Red cup, no it ain’t that Kool-Aid. Got me fed up you hoes too fake. One minute he a man, he a ride or die. Next minute on the ground with a new bae.”

Oh, and here’s the shout out to CeeLo Green just to prove I didn’t make that part up…

“I ain’t nothing like these hoes. Don’t compare me to no one (don’t do it). Money green like CeeLo. Yeah, my pockets so swole up.”

As for the rest of it, I am not 100% sure what language she’s speaking so I wish I could share more lyrics, but I have no idea what she’s actually saying.

Give it a listen for yourself and see if you have better luck.

Cast your vote and let us know!

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It’s time for us to all check out the newest funny memes and photos on the Internet. The BroBible ‘Best Damn Photos’ is a twice daily pic dump. It brings together the funniest photos and memes from all across the Internet. You can check out previous editions of the morning and afternoon Best Damn Photos pic dump by following that link, but don’t go anywhere without viewing today’s best funny photos! Make sure to follow us on Instagram at @brobible for more funny pics. And to see your pictures featured here on BroBible, consider sending them to me on Twitter HERE, and if the pics are good I’ll include them.

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reddit / trees

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the chive / @bubba_d72

reddit / pics

nba memes

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facebook / brody heath

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@jackishea @a5hleymichelle @ag_outdoors

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@amanda020802 / Instagram

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@huntressheat3 / instagram

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r/fishing

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@llcoolj16 / Instagram

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@alanahsilva / Instagram

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@vickystark / Instagram

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reddit / aww

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Today’s photos came from Dumpaday, The Chive, Radass, BadChix, FishBras Instagram, NBA Memes, Only For Men, The Man Page, Fuck Jerry, NFL Memes, BroBible Tumblr, Reddit/IMGUR, Tumblr, and Facebook (individual image credit to a photograph can be applied upon request).

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I just got back from a 2-week European vacation (are you even cultured, bro?) with very limited internet and returned home to hear about some bad news in Charlottesville, VA and 3,983 Instagram pictures of people looking like boners in solar eclipse glasses. I momentarily considered quitting the internet forever and then remember that this is how I get paid. Shit.

There was one thing on the world wide web that I found thoroughly amusing: the Man Looking At Other Woman meme. The Shutterstock stock photo of some dude checking out the bum of a stranger while his presumed girlfriend looks at him with disgust has proven to be quite the launching pad for some hilarious memes. The ones below I have found to be the funniest. Please agree.

[h/t Uproxx]

Netflix

Last month, Netflix announced Bojack Horseman would return for its fourth season on September 8th. If you’re a fan, you already know it’s undoubtedly the best cartoon that features talking animals coexisting with humans while exploring surprisingly deep— and, at many times, dark— themes on television today. If you’ve never seen the show, I hope that description is enough to make you at least give it a chance.

Bojack is only a couple of weeks away from returning, and Netflix was kind enough to help us get our fix a little bit early with the release of a trailer for the upcoming season. We last saw everyone’s favorite anthropomorphic horse driving off into the distance, and based on this preview, Bojack might be taking a bit of a backseat role.

September 8th can’t come soon enough.

Shutterstock

After a year of hype, McGregor vs Mayweather is FINALLY HERE. If you’re anything like me, you’re chompin’ at the bit to get rich by casually throwing some money around on the fight of the century at MyBookie.ag. Not just rich — Think investing in Bitcoin in 2013 rich, when it first hit $1000. Have you looked at what that ROI on that Bitcoin investment would be four years later? $4000! $4000!!! You — much like myself — are an idiot for not pulling the trigger on Bitcoin back then, instead floundering your money on booze and Four Loko.

Rather than waiting four years on your cryptocurrency investment to get hot over the course of four years, you can just be a true DEGEN and gamble your money. You know where you can make a Bitcoin-like multiplier like that with fight action this weekend? MyBookie.ag, the best online sportsbook in the business. They’re offering a 100% sign-up bonus with the promo code BROBIBLE when you add up to $1000 to your account. 

There are HUNDREDS of incredible prop bets to bet on MyBookie.Ag to bet (*cough* invest) your inheritance on:

-OVER 4.99m PPV buys? (-200)

-UNDER 4.99m PPV buys? (+140)

-Will McGregor do ‘The Billionaire Strut’ during walkout? (-270 Yes, +200 No)

-Will McGregor fight in MMA in 2017? (+130 Yes, -160 No)

-Who will be the first fighter to bleed? (+275 Mayweather, -450 McGregor)

-Will McGregor KickMayweather during the fight (+800 Yes, -4000 No)

-Will either fighter lose mouthpiece during the fight? (+425 YES, -850 NO)

-Who will have more people during the walkout? (-175 Mayweather, +125 McGregor)

-OVER/UNDER ON MANY TIMES WILL DONALD TRUMP TWEET ON THE DAY OF THE FIGHT (-155 on O6.5, +110 on U6.5)

-WILL JUSTIN BEIBER WEAR SUNGLASSES DURING THE WALKOUT?! (-210 Yes, +160 No… Making ‘No’ the lock of the century. He already went through that phase).

MyBookie.AG is ready to take your bets, with a 100% sign-up bonus using the promo code BROBIBLE. They even take Bitcoin, just incase you’re already Bitcoin rich.

Unless a man ends up fighting a robot in a match to save humanity sometime in the next 80 years, this bout will likely go down as the Fight of the Century based on hype alone. If you’re not going to shell out $99.95 for the privilege of watching McGregor try to do what every fighter before him has failed to, you’re probably flocking to the nearest Buffalo Wild Wings and blowing more money on beer and chicken drenched in Mango Habanero™ sauce than you would have spent on the PPV. If you’re not doing either of those things on Saturday night, it’s time to seriously rethink your priorities.

Of course, if you want to bet the plain old fight itself, Mayweather is currently the overwhelming favorite according to the bookmakers. But hey — McGregor is the fan favorite and the moneyline double-down him right is very real.

We got the odds from the following few prop bets from MyBookie, the number one sports betting site on the internet. If you’re not familiar with MyBookie, you’re in luck— new players can use the PROMO CODE: BROBIBLE to get a 100% sign-up bonus when you add up to $1,000  to your account.

Sure, some of these are longshots, but isn’t that half the fun? For more bets on gambling like a degenerate this weekend, go listen to the inaugural episode of BroBible’s DEBATE THE SLATE podcast… 

Mayweather By KO, TKO, or DQ (-200)

Mayweather is currently a -450 to win the fight outright, so if you think he’s going to take the victory in less than 12 rounds, there’s no reason to not take this bet and the free money that comes along with it.

Mayweather By Knockout (+200)

If you’re confident Mayweather is going to win the fight, why not have a little bit of fun and bet on the exact method of victory? You could wager on the TKO at +160— which isn’t a terrible route to take— but I’m more of a fan of the clean knockout. After all, McGregor was reportedly knocked out while sparring, so it doesn’t seem totally out of the question that he could be sent to the canvas by Mayweather for good.

McGregor By Technical Knockout (+800)

If you think McGregor is going to walk away with the win (or if you feel like hedging your Mayweather wager), then this bet is for you. There’s virtually no chance McGregor manages to pull a Hercules and go the distance in this fight, so if he’s going to be victorious, it’s going to be because of a KO or TKO. Is either scenario unlikely? The fact that they both come with 8-1 odds should answer that question for you. However, Mayweather has only been knocked down a single time over the course of his professional career, so it’s doubtful the fight will end because of a clean KO. If McGregor is going to be as aggressive as he claims he will be, I could see him catching Mayweather off guard with a flurry of punches to put an end to the bout.

However, Mayweather has only been knocked down a single time over the course of his professional career, so it’s doubtful the fight will end because of a clean KO. If McGregor is going to be as aggressive as he claims he will be, I could see him catching Mayweather off guard with a flurry of punches to put an end to the bout.

Floyd Mayweather By Disqualified Opponent (+1000)

This is the perfect bet for anyone who thinks McGregor will accidentally revert to his UFC mentality at some point during the fight. You’d hope that someone who’s spent the last year training for a boxing match would know better than to deviate from Queensbury rules. However, who knows what could happen if McGregor finds himself cornered or under a sudden barrage. Never underestimate the power of instinct.

Listen to the inaugural episode of BroBible’s DEBATE THE SLATE podcast… 

You were aware that Megan Fox has been supplementing her income from doing those two Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies, the only films she’s been in since 2012, with some lingerie modeling for Frederick’s of Hollywood, right? I hope so, but if not, I will be more than happy to bring you up to speed.

Megan Fox has been doing some lingerie modeling for Frederick’s of Hollywood. There, you’re all caught up. Oh, wait, she also wore some lingerie for a watch company earlier this year. Because that’s how you sell a quality timepiece. Now you’re caught up.

I guess she is going to appear in a movie directed by James Franco at some point this year or next called Zeroville. It also stars Seth Rogen, Will Ferrell and Danny McBride, but it was shot way back in 2014 and just hasn’t been released yet so it must be a doozy of a flick.

Which is why, I assume, the 31-year-old Fox has taken this gig as a lingerie model. Not that she isn’t up to the task. She most definitely is. The photos in this series have been outstanding. Check out the latest shots…

Good, right? Told you.

Here are some of the previous pics and video from the series in case you’re just finding out about this now. And even if you already knew, well, no harm in seeing them again is there?

Instagram / Bindi Irwin

Steve Irwin would take off sprinting full speed towards the deadliest snake, and he’d dive in the water and grab a deadly crocodile by the tail without blinking. Steve Irwin’s afternoon nature shows on Animal Planet did more for animal conservation than any other TV programs of the past several decades. I think it goes without saying, but Steve Irwin was the mother fuckin’ man, and the world today isn’t as great as it was when Steve Irwin was alive.

Steve Irwin tragically died on September 4, 2006, after being stung through the heart by the barb of a stingray. So, obviously, this isn’t new footage. But, for reasons unbeknownst to me various websites have started writing about this old clip from Steve Irwin’s Most Dangerous Adventures where Steve talks about one of the two animals he was genuinely afraid of wrangling…Spoiler alert: the first animal is hippos, the deadliest animal in all of Africa. The second animal Steve Irwin was afraid of is listed below.

Hippos are scary as hell, so Steve’s cautiousness in approaching crazy ass hippos is totally warranted. The second animal that Steve’s afraid of? It doesn’t make nearly as much sense. In this old interview with the Scientific American, Steve Irwin discusses the second animal he’s afraid of handling:

SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN: To keep the TV program diverse, you obviously have to look at lots of different animals. Are there certain ones that you aren’t comfortable with?
STEVE: The only animals I’m not comfortable with are parrots, but I’m learning as I go. I’m getting better and better at ’em. I really am.
SA: What did you say?
STEVE: Parrots.
SA: No way!
STEVE: Yeah, for some reason parrots have to bite me. That’s their job. I don’t know why that is. They’ve nearly torn my nose off. I’ve had some really bad parrot bites. (via Scientific American)

Steve Irwin’s son has begun making a name for himself in the world of animal conservation and television. He’s appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon several times and is raking in millions of views on YouTube, so it’s nice to know that the Irwin Family legacy is still intact with Steve’s kids. (h/t UL)

For the entire offseason, Colin Kaepernick’s unemployment has been a hot topic of discussion. Many believe the former Niners quarterback is getting blackballed by NFL executives because they disagree with his national anthem protest while others don’t think he’s a good enough to play in the league anymore.

On Thurday, Bills running back LeSean McCoy gave his two cents on the Colin Kaepernick situation.

“That may have something to do with but I think it also has a lot to do with his play,” . “I’m sure a lot of teams wouldn’t want him as their starting quarterback. Then it’s the chaos that comes with it. It’s a lot. A team’s trying to win and not have a distraction on a team. As a player, there’s certain players that can be on a team with big distractions, and other players, they’re not good enough that it’s worth it. I think his situation is, not good enough to have on a team with all the attention that comes along with it. I’m sure if a guy like [Tom] Brady or a guy like — whoever is your favorite player, Odell Beckham or a guy like that — you’ll deal with that attention and play him. With certain guys, it’s not worth it.”

McCoy went on to compare Kaepernick with his former teammate Michael Vick and explained that Kaep isn’t worth the distraction because ‘he’s not that good of a player”.

“Take a guy like Michael Vick who went through all that he went through. He’s 10 times better than Kaepernick. So you’ll deal with that situation. You’ll deal with that attention, the media aspect of it, the good the bad attention to it compared to Kaepernick, he’s really not that good of a player to deal with.”

While McCoy is probably right that better players than Kaepernick would be given more leeway it doesn’t means that Kaep isn’t being blackballed by the NFL over his views.

Instagram

Floyd Mayweather might owe the IRS upwards of $22 million in back taxes, but that hasn’t seemed to get in the way of his lavish lifestyle. The founder of The Money Team does everything he can to make sure to live up to its name, whether he’s buying party mansions in Miami or showing off his fleet of luxury cars. Mayweather’s life is better than yours, and he wants to make sure you know it.

Mayweather will face off against Conor McGregor in Vegas on Saturday, and regardless of the result, he’s likely going to have to take a few days to recover from the fight. Thankfully, he has a 22,000 square foot, $9 million mansion he can retire to that has basically everything a human being could ever want in life— including a sauna, an outdoor massage area, and a collection of cars worth $15 million (the one thing it doesn’t have is a basketball court, because Mayweather has a neighbor who lets him play on his. That’s very pragmatic on Floyd’s part).

How much does Floyd love his mansion? Well, there’s an Instagram account that’s home to over a hundred pictures of the house specifically that are seemingly designed to make you jealous. If you’re already on the Mayweather hate train, these photos will only add fuel to the fire, and if you’re a TMT member, these pics will just make you like him even more.

Not too shabby.

H/T: The Mirror

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The salaries of the highest paid TV stars of 2017, if we combined them, could probably wipe out our national debt or feed every person in America for the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, that isn’t going to happen. Not when most of them prefer to spend their money like this.

That’s okay though. These TV stars have earned their tremendously over-inflated salaries, right? I mean, if we didn’t watch their shows, they wouldn’t have advertisers or subscribers and they wouldn’t get paid so much. It’s really our fault that we make so little compared to what they make. And what they make is a bundle.

By the way, on Wednesday we shared the latest highest paid movie actors and actresses in movies list and they’re not hurting for cash either.

A new report by Variety breaks down the salaries of the biggest TV stars into three categories. Here are the top salaries in each one…

DRAMA (Per-Episode Estimate)
$775,000 Robert De Niro, Untitled David O. Russell project/Amazon
$525,000 Mark Harmon, NCIS/CBS
$500,000 Emilia Clarke, Game of Thrones/HBO
$500,000 Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Game of Thrones/HBO
$500,000 Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones/HBO
$500,000 Kit Harington, Game of Thrones/HBO
$500,000 Lena Headey, Game of Thrones/HBO
$500,000 Kevin Costner, Yellowstone/Paramount
$500,000 Kevin Spacey, House of Cards/Netflix
$450,000 Claire Danes, Homeland/Showtime
$450,000 Ellen Pompeo, Grey’s Anatomy/ABC
$350,000 William H. Macy, Shameless/Showtime
$350,000 Emmy Rossum, Shameless/Showtime
$350,000 Billy Bob Thornton, Goliath/Amazon

COMEDY (Per-Episode Estimate)
$900,000 Kaley Cuoco, The Big Bang Theory/CBS
$900,000 Johnny Galecki, The Big Bang Theory/CBS
$900,000 Simon Helberg, The Big Bang Theory/CBS
$900,000 Kunal Nayyar, The Big Bang Theory/CBS
$900,000 Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory/CBS
$650,000 Dwayne Johnson, Ballers/HBO
$500,000 Mayim Bialik, The Big Bang Theory/CBS
$500,000 Julie Bowen, Modern Family/ABC
$500,000 Ty Burrell, Modern Family/ABC
$500,000 Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Modern Family/ABC
$500,000 Ed O’Neill, Modern Family/ABC
$500,000 Melissa Rauch, The Big Bang Theory/CBS
$500,000 Eric Stonestreet, Modern Family/ABC
$500,000 Sofia Vergara, Modern Family/ABC

REALITY/NEWS/HOST (ANNUAL SALARY ESTIMATE)
$50 million Ellen DeGeneres, The Ellen DeGeneres Show /Syndicated
$47 million Judith Sheindlin, Judge Judy/Syndicated
$25 million Matt Lauer, Today/NBC
$25 million Katy Perry, American Idol/ABC
$22 million Kelly Ripa, Live With Kelly & Ryan/Syndicated
$18 million Megyn Kelly, NBC News
$18 million Robin Roberts, Good Morning America/ABC
$16 million Jimmy Fallon, The Tonight Show/NBC
$15 million Stephen Colbert, The Late Show/CBS
$15 million Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live/ABC
$15 million Pat Sajak, Wheel of Fortune/Syndicated
$15 million Ryan Seacrest, Live With Kelly & Ryan/Syndicated
$15 million George Stephanopoulos, ABC News

Check out all of the complete lists and the full report over at Variety.

Take the quiz and see how you do!

Via Shutterstock / Chayutt Yomsungnoen

When I think of parades the images that come to mind include WWII veterans riding in antique fire trucks, sports teams popping bottles while celebrating championships, marching bands, enormous balloon characters, and shit like that. When I think of a parade it’s pretty much the exact opposite of what I see below.

This clip from the BBC includes images of the Mecca Military Parade from the Saudi Arabian military. It’s a pretty batshit crazy show of unrealistic force involving things like some dude jumping head first through the rear windshield of a car:

I’m not saying that we need more parades like this here in America, but wouldn’t it be chill if we could at least get one like this? We’ve got the most advanced and badass military the world has ever known, the deadliest force since the dawn of civilization. Can’t we at least pay $15 for a ticket to see some Patriot Games happening live???

The winner of the $758 million Powerball jackpot has come forward as Mavis L. Wanczyk from Chicopee, Massachusetts. The 53-year-old mother of two purchased the winning Powerball ticket at the Pride Station & Store in Chicopee and chose the numbers based on her family’s birthdays. To think of the chain of events that would have to occur for Mavis to win the largest single-ticket Powerball jackpot in history is mind-blowing. Mavis would have to have sex on those two exact days years ago to birth children with dates corresponding to the winning lottery tickets. Mavis fucks, and it pays.

Mavis, who worked at a local hospital, said she found out she won as she was leaving work Wednesday night with a colleague.

“He’s reading these numbers, and I pull mine out, and I go, ‘Hey, I have that number. And I have that — I have that!'” she told reporters. “And he goes, ‘Let me see that ticket. You just won!'” she told CBS News.

Mavis said she will keep her job at the local hospital because she likes helping people. Just kidding, she said she was immediately quitting and enjoying early retirement.

“I’m going to go hide in my bed,” she said.

The store Mavis bought the winning ticket from will receive $50,000. Word to the wise: if you’re looking to win the jackpot, buy up a ticket in Massachusetts. This marks the fourth time a Powerball jackpot winning ticket has been sold in Massachusetts. The others were sold in 2011, 2012 and 2013, according to CBS News.

Massachusetts is not one of the five states that allows its winners to receive their winnings anonymously so Mavis will likely be bombarded by people with their palms out.

As far as how much of the $758 million Mavis will actually take home, it gets dicey. She has the option of accepting her money as annuity or lump sum. If she chooses annuity, she will receive one payment immediately and 29 subsequent payments on a yearly basis. If Mavis chooses the lump sum, she will skate with approximately $443 million. But then the taxes kick in.

Massachusetts taxes 5 percent. If the person who won the most recent Powerball jackpot chooses lump sum, they would pay more than $22 million in state taxes, leaving them $310,310,000. They would also have to pay taxes each year for any investment income. If they choose annuity, they would pay on average $16,333,333 per year in state taxes and receive after 30 payments $489,999,990. [via Bustle]

Taxes, shmaxes. We’re just splitting hairs here. What’s the real difference between $758 million or $310 million or $100 million? Shit, my grandmother gave me a $50 savings bond for my birthday and I almost broke down in tears.

Enjoy your new life, Mavis. I’m happy for you. REALLY FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU FUCKING FUCK!

[h.t CBS News

Things got heated between the Yankees and the Tigers this afternoon. In the sixth inning of today’s game, Miguel Cabrera and Yankees catch Austin Romine got into a heated verbal exchange at home plate during Cabrera’s at-bat which escalated to a full-on fight.

Maybe Cabrea and Austin Romine should get featured on the undercard of this weekend’s Mayweather-McGregor fight.