And just when I thought the internet had entirely become a platform for everyone to shout at each other and for imperfect people to constantly take the moral high ground, a video comes pops up like this and the world wide web TOTALLY redeems itself. I shouldn’t be surprised that the video was actually uploaded to YouTube in November 2013–simpler times–and brought back into virality by The Big Lead, but I can’t remember laughing at a YouTube video this hard since the twerk girl catching fire.

Ok, now back to your 2017 regularly scheduled programming.

Daily Mail

[h/t The Big Lead]

Editor’s Note: Welcome to a daily column we run here at BroBible breaking down the day’s biggest stories in sports finance with commentary from the equities analyst and sports fanatic perspectives. It comes to us via our friends at JohnWallStreet, publisher of a free e-mail newsletter focused on sports related public equities and their subsidiaries. You can sign up here.

NFL SPONSORS EXPRESS CONCERNS WITH DECLINING RATINGS AND POLITICAL UNREST

Several NFL sponsors have contacted the league’s front office to express their concerns with declining TV ratings and the political unrest that has engulfed the league, for the first 7 weeks of the season. Long-time sponsor Papa John’s (PZZA) has told the league that in-game sales have fallen, since President Trump’s first comments on NFL player protests, back on September 22^nd. USAA, another official league sponsor, has confirmed that it too has been in contact with the league office about the issues. Despite 45’s call for the league to suspend players that fail to stand for the national anthem, the NFL has taken the position that it will allow its players to freely express their beliefs as they see fit.

Howie Long-Short: According to a new Harris Poll, PZZA has surpassed Pizza Hut (YUM) as the most popular pizza chain brand; but that popularity isn’t correlating with revenue growth. While YUM is up 17% this year, PZZA is down 21% YTD. Analysts expect PZZA to report Q3 revenues have grown 1.5% (to $428.73 million) YOY; with Pizza Hut (YUM) expected to report 10.5% growth (to $626.42 million) over the same period. Unfortunately for PZZA shareholders, popularity doesn’t guarantee success.

Fan Marino: League sponsors are contractually bound, so there is no immediate threat of revenue loss for the NFL. Any existing concerns are related to a potentially negative financial impact on future negotiations. The current collective bargaining agreement runs through the 2020 season, so the league isn’t going to be able to force players to stand before that. To be clear, there are some billionaire owners who defend the player’s right to protest. 49ers Owner Jed York was quoted as saying “Our country is more important than a slight economic impact.” At least one of these guys has his priorities in line. 

NFL INTENDS ON TERMINATING VERIZON’S EXCLUSIVE MOBILE BROADCAST RIGHTS DEAL

There are indications that the NFL intends on terminating Verizon Communications’ (VZ) exclusive rights to broadcast games on mobile devices, at the completion of this season. Under the terms of the expiring 4-year $1 billion agreement, only Verizon cellular subscribers can stream live game broadcasts; regardless of cable provider. It is still possible that Verizon could retain the title of “official wireless service provider” of the NFL and continue to stream games, while the NFL grants some of its other partners’ permission to broadcast games on mobile devices.

Howie Long Short: The NFL must end mobile exclusivity because their broadcast partners (ESPN, CBS, FOX and NBC) pay a fortune for the rights to carry games and want to make those games available on as many platforms as possible. Some have expressed concern that additional mobile distribution will further contribute to the decline of the league’s television ratings, but no one prefers to watch a game on a small computing device. An increase in mobile distribution will correspond with an increase in “Digital in TV Ratings” (method to account for all viewers across devices with program content and commercials that match the linear TV airing); which is good news for the league, its broadcast partners and their advertisers.

Fan Marino: While NFL television ratings are down 5% from 2016, the decline has yet to influence ad sales. In fact, ad sales were up 2% for the month of September; increasing from $504 million to $513 million. It should be noted that the NFL’s total ad inventory increased by 2% for the ’17 season, as did the cost of an ad (7% to $515K).

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NIKE PRESENTS LONG-TERM VISION AT INVESTOR DAY

In 2015, Nike (NKE) Chief Executive Mark Parker, a Phil Knight disciple, projected company revenue would hit $50 billion/year by 2020. Fast forward to Wednesday’s investor day and the $50 billion mark no longer appears realistic. Speaking in broad strokes, Parker presented the company’s long-term vision; offering up padded stats that project 50% of future sales growth coming from “innovation”, 75% of future revenue growth coming from “international” expansion (read: China) and “huge opportunities” in women’s footwear. NKE has even taken a page out of Silicon Valley’s playbook, disrupting the company’s long-time sales model in hopes that partnerships with Amazon and Instagram will help the company reach Parker’s goal.

Howie Long-Short: Parker’s $50 billion revenue target was always ambitious, considering NKE would have had to grow revenue 63% (from the time of his comment) to achieve it. 2015 was an outlier year, with record growth in both the apparel and footwear industries. Parker expected the trend would continue for the balance of the decade, but that hasn’t been the case. Sales growth slowed to just .1% over the last 90 days. I’m confident in saying, $50 billion by 2020 simply isn’t going to happen.

Fan Marino: Forbes released their list of the 40 most valuable brands in sports. Nike finished first with an estimated value of $29.6 billion, up 9.6% from their ’16 valuations. ESPN (DIS) ($15.8 billion, -4.2%), Adidas (ADDYY) ($7.9 billion, +12.9%), Sky Sports (SKY) ($5.5 billion, +10%) and Under Armour (UAA) ($4.4 billion, -20%) rounded out the Top 5.

Note: The summary for this story was written by our friends at The Water Coolest. Check out TheWaterCoolest.com for the latest market news and professional advice.

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What is JohnWallStreet?

JohnWallStreet is not a person or location, but a destination for the educated sports fan.

While we won’t be publishing “hot takes” on LeBron’s relative greatness to Jordan, we will be offering up the most relevant sports related finance news, in easily digestible bites, with commentary from both the equities analyst and sports fanatic perspectives.

We’ll cover publicly traded professional teams & stadiums, television networks, apparel & footwear companies, equipment companies, ticketing companies, content and facilities providers. If it trades on Wall Street, and has a sports angle, it’s in our wheel house.

Howie Long-Short and Fan Marino will be providing their expert opinions on each story. They have slightly different areas of expertise. Fan Marino is a firm believer that the SEC is the premier football conference. Howie Long-Short knows it as the Security & Exchange Commission. Fan Marino lives and dies with the college selection of 5 star, blue chip recruits. Howie Long-Short spends his days analyzing blue chip stocks. Howie Long-Short knows that Black Monday occurred on October 19th, 1987. Fan Marino swears it happens every January after Week 17. You get the point.

Have the best of JohnWallStreet sent directly to your inbox. Sign up here!

Shutterstock / Wit Olszewski

If you want to start trading in cryptocurrencies like Ethereum and Bitcoin you need to do your homework first, the same as you would with any investment opportunity. Blockchain is something you’ll want to know inside and out before getting involved, and with the Complete Ethereum Blockchain Mastery Bundle set of 4 courses, you’ll be able to get hands-on with Blockchain technology ASAP. Buy Now: $29 (95% OFF). Here’s an overview of the four courses in this bundle:

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This course is the one place on the web to give you everything you need to get started with developing decentralized blockchain apps and become an early adopter of this technology. You’ll go step-by-step through building a decentralized blockchain app, breaking down complex topics into bite-sized pieces.

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This course is perfect for anyone who wants to start their journey with the blockchain, Solidity, and Ethereum whilst building something large and meaningful. You’ll gain a step-by-step blueprint providing you with all the knowledge you need in order to successfully build a complex, real-world, Ethereum-based distributed application using Solidity. On top of that, you’ll jumpstart your journey with working upon the Ethereum blockchain at an advanced level.

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The BroBible team writes about gear that we think you want. Occasionally, we write about items that are a part of one of our affiliate partnerships and we will get a percentage of the revenue from sales.

Netflix

I’m sure plenty of people are stocking up on Eggo Waffles in preparation for tomorrow’s premiere of the second season of Stranger Things, but I’ll be paying homage to Chief Jim Hopper by buying a six pack of Schlitz to help chase off my inner demons while watching the ones on the screen.

However, if you’re looking for a slightly classier beverage to compliment your viewing, you’re in luck. Michigan’s Short’s Brewing recently released a Chief Hopper Double IPA inspired by David Harbour’s character on Stranger Things. The beer clocks in at 9.2%, which means you’re virtually guaranteed to enjoy the show even if it doesn’t live up to the first season.

This is what the beer tastes like, according to the brewery’s website:

Chief Hopper is a Double IPA hopped with Vic Secret, Simcoe, and Centennial hops inspired by the show “Stranger Things.” Chief Hopper is deep gold in color and has a dense white head. Dank aromas of pine, grapefruit, pineapple, and mango are accompanied by just a hint of malt. Smooth and balanced in flavor, a citrus forefront is matched with equal malt character.

Netflix recently sent the world’s nerdiest cease and desist letter to the masterminds behind a Stranger Things bar that popped up in Chicago earlier this year, and there’s a chance they could pull a similar move in this situation. However, based on the number of beers I’ve had with pop culture references in the name and on the bottle, Short’s should be in the clear.

[Mashable]

Netflix

As anyone who has used their Netflix account over the past few days knows, the countdown to Stranger Things season 2 is officially on, but did you know there are also a couple of Easter eggs on the countdown page as well? Because there are.

And since we are fast approaching actually being able to finally watch season two of Stranger Things hopefully these hidden gems will tide us over until the clock finally strikes zero.

On the countdown page you may not have noticed (I didn’t until just now) that there is some kind of pulsating red orb on the right side of the screen.

Netflix

See it? Did you know that you can click on it? I didn’t, but when you do you get a neat little treat as you are taken to the “upside down” version of the countdown page. I won’t show you what happens, but here’s a pretty much spoiler-free screencap.

Netflix

Cool, huh? Thanks, Reddit!

But wait, there’s more… According to YouTuber laserfloyd there is a beeping sound on the countdown page that made him wonder if it had some sort of hidden meaning.

I noticed the beeping sound and figured it might be Morse Code. After a couple of days I remembered it and took a stab at translating it and initially I got CLSGT. I thought “close enough” but then realized there were missing letters/beeps. So, I narrowed it down more and managed to find them all to get “CLOSE GATE.” That’s pretty neat on their part.

Pretty neat indeed. Check out how he figured it out in the video below…

As an added bonus to help tide you over for a few more hours, the Stranger Things folks have been dropping some very odd clips on their Instagram page. I honestly don’t know what any of them mean, but they are certainly creepy and have piqued my curiosity even more. Cannot wait.

Via Shutterstock / Jeramey Lende

Do you and your boys go out and you all indulge in a few too many adult beverages. The next thing you know, you’ve got the toilsome task of attempting to coordinate transportation for you and your friends to get back to your respective homes. Uber added a new feature to allow a group of friends create one trip itinerary that includes multiple stops. That’s right, no more frantically trying to add a new destination after each drop-off.

The multi-stop feature went into effect on Thursday and it allows users to add up to three stops to your trip. “So whether you’re picking up friends en route or heading home from a night out, it’s easier than ever to ride together,” Uber said in a statement. Even while you’re enroute, you’ll be able to add or remove stops while on the go. The driver will be automatically notified of the change of plans.

To add another destination on the popular ride-sharing app, press the plus symbol next to the “Where to?” box in your app. Then you’ll be able to add in up to three addresses.

The multi-stop feature will be available with an update and the new feature will be unveiled globally in the coming week.

[CNET]

Today’s Everyday Carry is dedicated to the material that built this country and that the country was built on — steel. From Carnegie to Bethlehem Steel, this country’s history revolves around the hard and strong alloy of iron and carbon.

Here are five fine products made of real stainless steel.

Boker Plus Hawkit Neck Knife Axe [$24]
Citizen Eco-Drive Men’s Stainless Steel Chronograph Watch [$281]
Mirenlife One-Piece Stainless Steel Tactical Pen [$14.99]
Mossy Oak 30 oz. Double Wall Stainless Steel Insulated Tumbler [$13]
Gerber Paraframe Stainless Steel Mini Knife With Serrated Edge [$12]

MORE EVERYDAY CARRY

The BroBible team writes about gear that we think you want. Occasionally, we write about items that are a part of one of our affiliate partnerships, and we will get a percentage of the revenue from sales.

There are a lot of great outdoor fire pits out there but you rarely see one of this quality for such a low price.

Uniflame’s Endless Summer Hex Outdoor Fire Bowl is a best seller on Amazon because it’s a great looking piece that’s top quality. The unique hex shaped design makes it perfect for gathering around with friends and enjoying a cold one. Plus, the oil rubber bronze finish is beautiful before, during, and after the fire.

This fire pit typically sells for around $140-180 but Amazon has it listed at a crazy discounted price, only $57 with free shipping. For a 24x24x24 inch firepit that weights 17 pounds, that free shipping is clutch.

Order today before they sell out and stay warm all winter long!

BUY IT NOW: $57

—

The BroBible team writes about gear that we think you want. Occasionally, we write about items that are a part of one of our affiliate partnerships and we will get a percentage of the revenue from sales.

Getty Image Composite

Sorry, Lena Dunham. The dude who you made a huge stink about not talking to you at the MET Ball is officially slapping skins with another celeb.

Odell Beckham Jr. needed to fracture his ankle to escape the dumpster fire that is his 1-6 New York Giants. Reports claim that Iggy Azalea will be there to help the 24-year-old mend, as they are currently hooking up.

“They hook up, but are still hooking up with other people,” the insider told US Weekly.

Page Six reported in May that Odell was skipping practice to hang out with Iggy in Los Angeles, which Beckham denied, and was probably bullshit anyway.

I hope Odell treats Iggy better than her ex-fiance, Nick Young, who Iggy broke up with in June of 2016:

“I broke up with Nick because I found out he had brought other women into our home while I was away and caught them on the security footage,” she claimed.

Yikes.

Swaggy P is probably kicking himself now. Or maybe not.

[h/t US Weekly]

Hot Ones / YouTube

Chris Jericho, aka ‘The Man of 1,004 holds’, is a WWE legend. He’s a 6-time World Champion who made his wrestling debut all the way back in 1990. In addition to being one of the most famous and decorated WWE wrestlers of all time, Chris Jericho is also the lead singer of the Heavy Metal band Fozzy who have released 7 studio albums since their debut in 2000.

He’s a man of many skills, but one skill he’s lacking is the ability to withstand extremely spicy food. In the latest episode of Hot Ones, Chris Jericho sits down for an interview with Sean Evans an takes a stab at eating the ‘Wings of Death’. I’m assuming everyone here already knows the format of Hot Ones: it’s a celebrity interview series where they eat the world’s spiciest wings in order of ‘insanely spicy’ to ‘absolute torture’.

The latest episode of Hot Ones kicks off with WWE legend Chris Jericho admitting that he has a piss poor tolerance for spicy food. But, what he lacks in tolerance for spicy food he makes up for in glorious WWE stories.

Getty Image

Aaron Rodgers, who now has a lot of free time on his hands courtesy Vikings linebacker Anthony Barr, visited Conan O’Brien for a little round of “Clueless Gamer.”

This episode’s game gives us all another sneak peek at the eagerly-anticipated Assassin’s Creed Origins.

However, it turns out that the game was far from being the most interesting part of Rodgers and Conan’s conversation. The most interesting part was when Conan asked Rodgers about his injury which may end up costing him the rest of the season.

When Conan asked Rodgers to describe the play in question he revealed that he now has a TON of screws in his collarbone.

“I rolled out to my right, I threw the ball and I got tackled and kind of slammed on the ground,” Rodgers told Conan. “But I’m good now — 13 screws later and here I am.”

Uh, 13 screws…that seems like a lot of screws, right? That many screws makes one wonder just how brittle his collarbone is going to be in the coming years. It’s not like defenders are going to stop slamming him to the ground when he comes back.

Oh well, at least try to enjoy the video game banter between Conan and your QB, Packers fans. And say a little prayer that I am wrong, while you’re at it.

The full segment with Rodgers will air on Thursday night.

You ever order a classic cocktail, like an Old Fashioned or Sazerac, and think to yourself “could I make that?”

Well, thanks to the power of the internet (mostly YouTube) you CAN make your favorite cocktails and all you need is the right tools.

Boom! This 14-piece bartender’s cocktail kit has everything you could need to make your favorite cocktails at home. Few things top the accomplished feeling of making a traditional cocktail and enjoying it on your own couch instead of the packed bar.

At the very least, you never know when you’ll want to have some of these pieces around and they look great on a shelf or bar cart.

For just $12.95, go ahead and class up the joint. Add a bartender’s cocktail kit to your home.

Cheers, gents!

BUY IT NOW

—

The BroBible team writes about gear that we think you want. Occasionally, we write about items that are a part of one of our affiliate partnerships and we will get a percentage of the revenue from sales.

Last week we sat down with Chad Mountain, burgeoning Instagram star and certified dating expert, to talk about how every man should navigate the waters of dating. He laid out the three keys for maximizing your dating game, especially in the world of online dating apps: Be nice. Be kind. Be interested. As long as you have the golden rule going for you, you’re in a great spot.

This week we talked to Chad about stepping up your texting game. n a world of smartphones and selfies, the key to any great relationship in the digital era is great texting banter. Texting is where the flirty chemistry between to people sparks into a full-out combustion. No one wants a wet blanket who takes 20 minutes to respond to a text or can’t fire back a strategic emoji where it’s warranted.

Chad laid out his Dos and Don’ts of texting, from over-texting to how to properly master a double-text. His words of wisdom above.

Remember the ultimate don’t: Don’t be a weirdo.

Follow Chad Mountain on Instagram…

Follow Brandon on Twitter… 

Shutterstock

The last thing you want to be, at least if you’re not a lunatic, is that guy that women think is creepy. I mean, everyone does something creepy every now and then, and may not even realize what they’re doing is creeping other people out, but if you had that knowledge you’d probably stop doing it, right? RIGHT?

So to help us out in not being creeps, on purpose or otherwise, several women were nice enough to reveal some of the things we men do that creep them out.

Might want to jot down a few notes here, fellas. Though a few of these should already be obvious…right?

Super common: getting mad at me for not acknowledging them or smiling when a guy passing on the street or on a hiking trail says something along the lines of “What’s wrong? Smile, beautiful!” ~ kmatts

Hitting on you at work, especially in a service industry role. I can’t get away from you, part of my job is to be nice and polite to you, I can’t get tell you to fuck off or I might get fired. I hated it when guys did this when I was a waitress or barmaid. ~ Whapwhaaap

Thinking that just because I have the same hobby as you that you don’t see many women playing (Overwatch, MtG, DnD, etc) that I 1) must be prime dating material, and 2) don’t know what I’m doing. ~ hploy

The other day I was watching a video on my phone and someone put their hand over my phone so I had to look up. All he wanted to do was hit on me. No thanks… ~ italyinsummer

Not taking the social cues that I’m not interested.

I was on the bus last week, reading a book with my headphones in and a guy actually leaned over and pulled them out. Reading a book/wearing headphones are like universal signs for “leave me alone.” I gave him a dirty look and he got all huffy as if I was the rude party. ~ shinyruins

Being a petite person, men in bars seem to think it’s funny to try and literally pick me up. They see it as a way of flirting. I see it as a way to get severely hurt if I’m dropped. ~ Goalieamd

Asking personal questions…like “What did you do last night?”, “What did your boyfriend think about that?” “Is your mattress comfortable?” all within a few minutes, when a basic “How are you?” would have been more than enough. ~ Bongu01

Being overly friendly or familiar. If I don’t know you, don’t treat me like we’re best friends. If I’ve never seen you before, don’t act like you know everything about me. Don’t assume I want to become friends with you. You’re a total stranger. ~ ActualGuesticles

I don’t want to hear about how you prefer my hair this way, or that you wish I wore skirts more often, or that you’re glad I grew my hair out because you prefer long hair. I’m here to work. General rule is if you’d make the complement to your male coworker, feel free to make it to me, but if you would feel uncomfortable making that compliment to cubicle buddy Mike you should probably be keeping it to yourself. ~ supersexygoldfish

Guys trying to take sneaky pictures. I didnt notice it initially, but then one time his phone wasn’t on silent. Makes me not want to go out on public. ~ aegyeon

When a guy stands near me and just smiles at me for several minutes… non-stop… without saying anything. ~ swiffa

Please don’t look at me & lick your lips. Especially don’t do that with your head tilted down but your eyes looking up. I’ve seen multiple men do this & it’s fucking terrifying. Don’t put your hands anywhere near a woman’s drink. And finally it you are going to talk to a woman just do it straight off the bat; don’t follow her around first. ~ ImNotHimEither

Not respecting my “no.” I don’t need to justify why I’m not interested. I don’t need to have a boyfriend for you to back off. I don’t need to tell you why I’m dressed the way I’m dressed. Just NO. Respect my answer, I don’t owe you anything. I don’t mind people asking me for my number or asking me out as long as they are respectful when I tell them no. I respect the hell out of a man that can take rejection and not do a 180 and get invasive or rude. It makes me so uncomfortable to have to deal with these types of interactions. ~ satanintraining

Don’t get me started on late-night Uber drivers. You are driving me to my HOME. You can’t lasciviously compliment my outfit or repeatedly ask why I’m not married, dude. ~ ficcionella

If we’re the only two people at the bus stop, there is no reason that you would need to stand directly next to me. ~ fkdsla

Check out the rest of the responses over at Reddit, and remember, don’t be that guy.

It’s time for us to all check out the newest funny memes and photos on the Internet. The BroBible ‘Best Damn Photos’ is a twice daily pic dump. It brings together the funniest photos and memes from all across the Internet. You can check out previous editions of the morning and afternoon ‘Best Damn Photos’ pic dump by following that link, but don’t go anywhere without viewing today’s best funny photos! Make sure to follow us on Instagram at @brobible for more funny pics. And to see your pictures featured here on BroBible, consider sending them to me on Twitter HERE, and if the pics are good I’ll include them.

IF YOU WANT YOUR INSTAGRAM PICS/MEMES TO BE FEATURED HERE tag them with ‘BROBIBLE’ and I’ll include them if they’re good.

IF YOU WANT YOUR INSTAGRAM PICS/MEMES TO BE FEATURED HERE tag them with ‘BROBIBLE’ and I’ll include them if they’re good.

Today’s photos came from all over on Instagram. If you have a photo you’d like to see featured here you can send it to me on Twitter at @casspa or you can email it to me at cass@brobibledotcom. You might notice that this is a different format than the usual ‘Best Damn Photos’ of the morning and afternoon. Going forward, by using Instagram and Twitter embeds it will save me hours of work in putting this twice daily pic dump together and I’ll be able to get the pics to you bros a lot faster. Nobody likes change. I’m sure this new format will come with its own hiccups. But we’ll all grow to love it over time.

KATV

Remember when the Little Giants were a steaming pile of dog shit, and then Ice Box swooned a superiorly athletic Junior Floyd (Devon Sawa) to join that nerdberger with the snot bubble and that chubbster with the Cheetos in his helmet? The Little Giants were a totally different team with Junior Floyd’s leadership and general knowledge of the rudimentary aspects of the game.

Well, that is kinda sorta what happened to this small-town football team in Arkansas.

According to KATV, the Mountain Pine high school football team hasn’t made the state playoffs since 2010 and has won a total of three games over the past six years. Just pitifully awful.

Following a winless season last year, the Mountain Pine Red Devils opened the season by getting abused 35-0. It looked like it was going to be same shit, different toilet for the squad in 2017. Fast forward a couple months and Mountain Pine is currently 7-1, riding a seven-game winning streak.

So what changed? Mountain Pine brought in its Junior Floyd after game one.

The athletic phenom transferred schools districts and was initially ruled ineligible by the Arkansas Activities Association. The 17-year-old gained eligibility by exercising Rule 16, Subsection A, Exception 6, which states that if a “… student is married and living with a spouse … who had an established domicile in the district one year prior to the marriage …” then he or she is instantly eligible.

The dude got married to a student in the district and moved in with her parents. At 17.

Since becoming eligible, he’s racked up 100 yards in every game he’s played and scored 16 touchdowns in just seven games.

The bride’s father emailed the AAA with the marriage certificate confirming that the teens had married “due to a certain circumstance.” He told KATV, however, that the primary reason for this union does not involve sports or eligibility.

There has to be more to this story. No self-respecting adults would let two 17 year olds ties the knot if something fishy wasn’t going down. I’m of the school of thought that you should not be allowed to get married before you’re allowed to step into a strip club. I still had an AIM screen name at 17. Still writing my girlfriend hand-written ‘I love you forever’ notes. I checked her out on Facebook the other day and she now has a neck tattoo. These parents have the mortgage riding on a Mountain Pine playoff appearance. No other logical explanation for this.

[h/t KATV]

Apparently JFF and Bre are still a thing.

Every day dozens and dozens of celebrities share pictures, videos, jokes, gear and other goodies to their Instagram accounts. There is literally so much going on with so many people that there’s almost no way the average bro can keep tabs on it all. So, because we care, we do it for you so you can waste your time at work, at home or wherever you may be in a much more efficient manner. After all, if you’re going to be wasting time, you want to do it right.

Here are the best celebrity Instagram posts we saw on the internet today…

This is one heck of a group photo.

Nice seats.

Same.

Even better.

Dammit, I really should have gone into acting.

Look at the perks!

For example…

Although, not sure about this part…

This would definitely be fun though.

Traveling would certainly be easier.

But, yeah, acting…I should have gone into acting.

Being Diddy doesn’t suck.

Neither does being Bella Thorne.

Or being Fred Savage.

Being Mick Jagger ain’t bad either.

Or RG3.

Celebrities get all the cool stuff…for free.

How you know you’ve officially made it.

This also counts.

Not sure this does though.

Giving a dog an autograph definitely does.

He definitely needs to wear this for Halloween.

Danny Trejo hung out with Fernando.

Jared Leto hung out with Ellen.

Sabrina Carpenter hung out with Fallon.

Giancarlo hung with a couple of MLB legends.

Jessica Chastain has a very good dog.

So does Paulina Porizkova.

Kristin Cavallari has two of them.

Serinda Swan has one too.

Karlie Kloss has a way better view than me.

So does Piers Morgan.

And Hilary Swank.

And Elizabeth Banks.

Being a professional golfer seems like a decent life.

So does being a professional tennis player.

Stella Maxwell works out.

So does Beef.

Welcome back, Teddy.

Nice ride.

She gets paid to do this.

Won’t be long…

WASP!

The only way to fly.

Great. Now I’m hungry.

Today’s celebrity words of wisdom…

Aston Martin

To an outside observer, it would appear Tom Brady has basically everything you could ask for in life. He’s married to Gisele Bündchen, is considered by many to be the greatest quarterback of all time, and has even figured out a way to make himself immune to sunburns. What more could you possibly want?

That would normally be a rhetorical question, but it turns out there’s been something missing from Brady’s life all along: a special edition Aston Martin that he helped design.

ESPN reports TB12 teamed up with the luxury car company to create the Tom Brady Signature Edition. The car was designed in conjunction with Aston Martin creative director Marek Reichman, who helped bring Brady’s vision to fruition.

As you’d expect, no expense was spared when it came to the finer details:

The car has an ultramarine black exterior with dark leather inside and paddle shift tips made out of California poppy leather. Brady’s signature is on the doorsill plates, and his “TB12” logo can be seen throughout the vehicle, including on the fender and embossed on the headrests.

Aston Martin will be producing 12 cars that will ultimately retail for $359,950. Brady’s initial endorsement deal came with a $212,000 DB11, but if he wants to own his own model, he’ll have to pay for it himself.

Clowns haven’t always been terrifying and creepy. Traditionally, clowns were children’s entertainers. Clowns were innocent, happy, and funny characters meant to amuse. Now, when a lot of people think of clowns they think of Pennywise from the It Movie, and other terrifying clowns like that. Just last year the nation was being terrorized by creepy clowns. So how’d this all happen? Well, New York Magazine looked into the long and storied history of scary clowns to pin down just how and when clowns went astray.

I grew up in a clown town. Sarasota, Florida, the town I was born and raised in, was once home to the Ringling Bros. Circus Clown College. It’s still home to the Ringling Clown Museum. John Ringling of the Ringling Bros. and Barnum Bailey Circus lived in Sarasota and brought clowns to this area. Growing up, I never thought clowns were creepy or terrifying. It wasn’t until I was an adult and saw clowns in Horror flicks that I ever realized people were scared of clowns.

Historically, clowns were portrayed as the ‘trickster character’ since before we even had written stories. The trickster archetype, like the Court’s Jester or Loki, has always had a strange ambiguity. Traditionally, they’ve been misunderstood characters. But how did clowns go from misunderstood to menacing and terrifying beings? You’ll have to watch the video to find out.

[h/t DIGG Video]

Netflix

There have been a lot of fan theories thrown around with regard to what will happen in Stranger Things season 2. And I mean A LOT of theories.

Thankfully for the #JusticeForBarb crowd, they didn’t have to wait to get all of her questions answered until season two, but what about some of the other characters?

What about Will? Why was he the one sucked into The Upside Down and what effect did that have on him, besides puking up some nasty looking creatures in the bathroom?

What about Chief Hopper? What does the death of his daughter really mean and what deals did he make with the evil corporation?

Speaking of Hopper, why did he leave those waffles out in the forest? And where is Eleven? And how does she come back?

And what about the very believable theory that Stranger Things is actually part of the universe Stephen King has created in his books? Oh, you don’t know that one? It’s very good.

Okay, okay… slow down, Douglas. (Sorry, I am just very excited to watch season 2 this weekend.)

Now, not all of my questions are answered (I also have many more) in the video below, but the 10 theories that they do cover will definitely give you some food for thought as you get ready to revisit The Upside Down.

Oh, and if you haven’t seen the hidden Easter eggs on Netflix’s Stranger Things countdown page, you definitely need to check those out before the clock hits zero.

Ready? Are Demogorgon’s evil? Hell yes, so let’s do this…