Boners are like children–you never know when you’re going to have one, but when you do you have to embrace it. Rock that shit like a badge of courage. Establish yourself as the alpha in the gym. Nothing says ‘I’m using this flat bench’ like a rock hard broner. If anyone gives you shit about it, tell them gains give you a pocket rocket and if they don’t like it, they can join Curves. If some asshole comes up and asks to work in with you on the squat rack, turn around with your woody at full salute, look him dead in the eye, and say “I don’t think there’s enough room here for the three of us.” The beauty about America is that we can walk around with our custard slingers at full mast and no one can say a thing besides “Oh shit dude sorry to interrupt.” Unless the police show up, then you should probably tuck that thing into your waistband so you don’t have to tell your future neighbors about it.