Broken Lizard
Did you ever worked in fast food and wanted to hock a viscous loogie into the food or beverage that was being served to a hardworking member of the police department? Well fucking don’t, because besides being nasty as hell, it can land your trifling ass in jail.
That’s exactly what happened to Elijah Johnson, an employee of a Baton Rouge Dairy Queen. On Sunday, he was arrested after he allegedly spit on a police officer’s hamburger.
The police lieutenant noticed what he thought was saliva on the bun of his burger. To which he notified the manager, and hopefully he asked, “Does that look like spit to you? Ah well.”
Instead of punch-a-sizing the cook’s face, the officer and manager reviewed surveillance video footage that showed the 21-year-old grabbing a bun, walking off to the side, bringing the burger up to his mouth, spitting and walking back to finish making the burger. Should have had the cashier tell him to not spit in that cop’s burger. Classic mistake right there.
Well at least the mad spitter didn’t have any super contagious diseases. The police report showed that Johnson later admitted that he had several diseases including Herpes. Oh.
“Johnson originally provided police with a false name and date of birth. When Johnson finally gave his real name and date of birth, they found that Johnson had an outstanding warrant through the Baton Rouge Constables Office,” the report stated.
Spokesman for the Baton Rouge Police Department, Cpl. Don Coppola, said that Johnson was booked Sunday on counts including mingling harmful substances. Coppola also says the saliva is being tested to see if it matches Johnson.
There is no truth to the rumor that the officer ordered a liter o’ cola with his mucus burger.
[NYP]
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