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WARNING: The confessions these people revealed about the grossest sexual experiences they’ve ever had might just scar you for life.
Seriously, if you thought the orgy stories we shared with you a while back were slightly off-putting then you better strap in before you read what these people on Reddit shared.
You ready? Answer: No, you are not ready, but here we go anyway.
“So i start working out of town. And I find a rv park that rents out a nice big camper for cheap. 2nd week there and I meet this chick off tinder. We meet up, have dinner and way too much to drink. Really not bad for a tinder date. Take her back to the camper and start our thing. A few minutes into it I smell shit. It keeps getting worse. I start wondering if I sharted or something. So i power through it and go to the bathroom after. Minor butt sweat and that’s it. I figure I must’ve just farted really badly and pass out. I wake up still drunk and go to work. The next day. The couple that owned the camper had brought over a heater and put it in while I was at work. They waited for me to get there to see if I was ok since there was blood and shit all over the bed, I mean there were clearly the silhouette of ass cheeks in the mattress. Like an ass stamp dipped in blood and poop. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life.” — Tumbleweed556
“I already had a stomach ache but I sucked his dick anyway. I was planning on not swallowing but this piece of shit held my head down and his cum shot at my uvula, and on top of it his cum tasted like rotting garbage. I have a terrible gag reflex as well which made the situation worse. So I got up ran to the sink and threw up. Moral of the story don’t eat KFC and then suck dick.” — Italiancute
“My most recent ex wanted to incorporate food and sex. She took a huge glob of her organic almond peanut butter on my dick and began to blow me. The grainy texture felt like sandpaper and it ended up looking like I had diarrhea all over my dick and she was eating it. Had to pull the plug on the act and wash off. Never incorporated food again.” — randomfuckingguy
“I was 15 on a student-exchange to Germany at the time and was experimenting a lot. I thought I’d use a cucumber to make not only a self-lubed dick-sleeve (not a nice phrase) but the inside would make an improvised dildo. I used some lotion or something as extra lube (because you can never have enough lube)
The problem was that my skin didn’t like the lotion-lube. My entire dick, balls and asshole (not to mention the insides) were on fire for days. I was on a student-exchange to Germany at the time. Walking around concentration camps with a burning asshole really took me out of the experience. The people I was staying with thought I was getting really emotional.” — Untakenu
“I woke up in the middle of the night after sex to the girl fingering herself to orgasm while sucking my armpit hair.” — Maker_Of_Tar
“I was laying between a guys legs sucking his dick. I decided to start sucking on his balls, and once I got them both in my mouth my chin was pressed up against his taint and maybe his asshole. I started smelling the grossest dirty shit ass smell imaginable. I didn’t want to be rude so I kept going. Well, on the ride home I kept smelling the nasty smell. I get home and go look in the mirror and I’ve literally got a little shit streak on my damn chin. He didn’t say anything just stared me straight in my shitty face and kissed me goodbye.” — TheSouthernLady
“I made my first girlfriend gush somehow from going down on her and from what subsequent docs have told me, it ruptured an infected sac deep inside her causing her to gush infected female ejaculate. For those unaware it has the same color, taste and texture as guacamole and I still can’t eat the stuff now 15 years later.” — Vealophile
“The woman who is now my wife didn’t tell me she had a yeast infection. We start messing around and I start fingering her. The mess that came out of that was horrifying and ruined my love of going down on her (took years to get over that) and my love of oatmeal.” — mousecop77
“Tried to have sex while I was sick. Ending up throwing up on both of us while sucking his dick. Then while I was sitting on his lap with my head over the toilet, I shit on him.” — ashbashass
“I was 69ing for the first time sucking this guys dick and I literally sucked out a small kidney stone. Never told him. Never will.” — DNAon_herTNA
“I thought I was going to be coming in here with my story about how my experience with anal ended up in poop… But that’s fucking Disney compared to the shit going on in this thread, Jesus fuck.” — Formaldehyd3
Noooo shit. Pun 100% intended.
Check out the rest of the stories over at Reddit, if you dare.
H/T FHM