I need to get the number to the weed dealer of someone in the Texas Rangers organization because their new stadium offerings are evidence of either a culinary genius or someone who just faced a gravity bong of medical grade nug.
The Rangers will have home field in the playoffs, so fans can get their hands on some of the most creative, diabetes-inducing stadium eats we’ve seen yet.
I hope you’re reading this on the shitter or wearing a diaper because just looking at these pictures below caused a strong and sudden bowel movement.
The Popcornopolis Pita – Texas size portions of Smoked Brisket, and Mac N Cheese served on Pita Bread and topped off with Popcornopolis Caramel Popcorn. The Popcornopolis Pita combines several of our fan’s favorite items into one delicious treat! Available in sections 24 and 49.
The Atomic Burger – Much like its cousin the Beltre Buster, this is a Cheeseburger with 2lbs of meat, and all the fixings. The Atomic Burger adds a kick (or punch…?) of spice with a Ghost Pepper cheese sauce that is sure satisfy the spicy food fan! Available in section 26.
The TamArlington Dog– We have taken the hot dog out of the bun, and serving it as a tamale topped with chili and nachos cheese. Available in section 25.
The N.E.Q Sandwich– Philly cheesesteak topped with provolone cheese, fried jalapeno slices, onion rings, waffle fries, fried mozzarella and white queso. Served with Captain Morgan dipping sauce. Available in the Captain Morgan Club open to anyone with a game ticket.
R.I.P. Arteries.
[h/t Busted Coverage]