RGIII has become that friend we’ve all had growing up that sheds all responsibility once he gets a little attention from the popular girl in school. He know longer shows up to bro poker night, he’s the only dude who sits at her lunch table, and he sends her “Just Cuz” flowers weekly. She’s got a tighter grip around his neck than the Abercrombie seashell choker she bought him for their two week anniversary that he wears around the hallways like a red badge of courage even though she only bought him that vagina repellent so no other girls have interest in hitting on him. Chokers are the scarecrows of necklaces, RGIII, stop playin yourself.
Call me a hater, but someone needs to tell it to RGIII straight. The dude just lost out on $11 million in incentives after going down with a shoulder injury in week 1, and while I don’t expect him to be weeping at home while watching old Baylor tapes, I certainly don’t expect him to be baby talking with his girlfriend in the comment section on Instagram after showing up to her place unannounced.
Hang up. No you hang up.
Actually, who the fuck am I kidding. If this chick asked me to leave the blog game and work at the Cold Stone in Cleveland to be closer to her, I’d peace out before I could finish this sentence.
[h/t Busted Coverage]