If you encounter a bear in your campsite, stop what you are doing and evaluate the situation. Identify yourself by speaking in a calm, appeasing tone. Back away slowly, preferably in the direction you came. Walk, don’t run, and keep your eye on the bear so you can see how it will react. This is what the internet tells you to do. In none of my searches did it explain how to proceed with sludgy shit running down your leg. I’m a huge pussy.
Now watch this domesticated bear search for food after taking a bong rip, presumably.