It is a not a great time to be a professional baseball player named Alex Rodriguez. Specifically a New York-based professional baseball player named Alex Rodriguez. Listen, I’m a Yankees fan. When they signed A-Rod 12 years ago, I was 10. I barely knew who he was. I just knew that everyone kept talking about an absolute slugger making his way to New York from Texas. I’m pretty sure I didn’t learn was A-Rod stood for until like a year later. That all being said, A-Rod probably should have just stayed in Texas.
It’s been a tumultuous 12 years for A-Rod. Sure, he was a good hitter for part of those years, but he’s nowhere near the ‘savior’ everyone thought he was going to be. Plus, the whole steroid thing pissed me (amongst others) off. The guy got caught. A lot. And he still refused to admit he took them. Yes, he had a great season last year, but I’m not unconvinced that he still had some aftereffects of the steroids floating around in his body. (Side note: Do steroids float around in your body or is it more like injecting cement into your veins?) So whatever, the guy decided to retire and go be a consultant in a different part of the franchise. But even that, people seem to pretty fucking pissed about. Dude just cannot win. Regardless, due to his retirement, tonight is A-Rod’s last game. Seeing as it was his last time taking the field in pinstripes, Rodriguez asked Joe Girardi for a chance to play third base, where he played as a Ranger. Things didn’t go as planned.
Woof. That’s about as cold-blooded as it gets. I mean, at least Girardi hit him with a “I thought about it.” He also very well could have said that ten seconds after A-Rod asked him. “Hey, can I play third tomorrow?” “Thought about it, no.” The ‘trying to win games’ dig might be one of the worst insults of all time. That’d be like if you were going off to war and asked your dad if he wanted to go out and have a drink. “No, sorry, we’re trying to not sit with fucking losers.” There’s just no coming back from that. So, when you see A-Rod sitting in the dugout tonight, angrily chewing on his sunflower seeds, just know that it’s because Joe Girardi