Another day, another revelation about how much of a disaster the Rio Olympics are going to be. I’ve been writing at length about the impending disaster at this point. The difference about today is that the press have officially arrived in Rio, so we’re going to start getting all kinds of street-level insight into how fucked the whole thing is. Like the fact that there is raw sewage flowing into a river 50 yards behind the Olympic village.
As well as the fact that said river flows directly into the water that some athletes will be competing in, including long-distance swimmer.
One summer when I was home for college, I agreed to housesit a friend’s dog while they were out of town. I didn’t even housesit, really, as much as I checked in on the dog three times a day. The dog was like this little fucking Pomeranian that looked more like a cotton ball that had been shocked with static electricity than an actual dog. Anyway, this family was redoing their backyard while they were away, so all I had to do was let the dog out back and make sure it didn’t fall into any holes. So the dog was essentially allowed to shit anywhere it wanted in the backyard because they had to put new grass and all that down anyway. So I watched that dog for like a week and, honest to God, the entire fucking house reeked to high fuck of shit by the time they came home. And that dog was smaller than an 18 pack of Bud Light. So I can literally not imagine how much the water these athletes have to climb into must smell. And they have to submerge themselves in it. It’d be like if you took a dirty diaper and used it as an exfoliating sponge. Are you gagging yet? Good. Now imagine that while you try to win a gold medal. Exactly.
[h/t Busted Coverage]