Charles Barkley is one of those celebrities that I like in spite of how unlikeable he is. Like, I shouldn’t like him. He’s pretty much just a bitter old man trapped in a rich dude’s body. I think that’s why I do like him. He’s a bit of an enigma. He’s kind of like hot dogs at Burger King. Like, you shouldn’t like them or even want them, but you enjoy them nonetheless. I do, however, love Jerry Rice. So I’m kind of into Jerry Rice putting Barkley in his place after Barkley calls out the Golden State Warriors for not being that good.
Put him in a bodybag, Jerry!! All jokes aside, though, my biggest dream in life is to get drunk with this cast of characters. They can bring me onstage and call me fat as long as I could just hang with them. I’ll let strangers record themselves on a slow-motion camera while punching me in the stomach if I can drink $3,000 champagne with Chuck. I also want to point out how drunk these guys are right now. Come on. Who wouldn’t want to stand next to Barkley while he struggles to keep his eyes open/not drool on his $700 shirt?