I legitimately enjoy the sport of baseball. I used to hate it. It was probably my ADD kicking in but I’d watch like one inning and then just call it a wash. It was not even remotely able to hold my attention. I may as well have been in school. But now I’m more mature and only have trouble paying attention to things when I’m pretty toasted, so I’ve come to greatly appreciate the sport of baseball. That being said, I’m not above admitting that half the reason I watch baseball is to see people get hit by a pitch. It’s like watching Nascar for the crashes. You’re not happy about being happy about it, but you are.
So I was notably happily confused when Matt Holliday’s nose ate an errant pitch in last night’s game.
Yeah, that hurts. That fucking hurts. You know when you bump your nose against the kitchen cabinets or something and how your eyes start watering and you need to sit down and take a few panic breaths. Now imagine that pain magnified by like 500x. I’m surprised he didn’t pass out. At least throw up. One time someone donkey-kicked me so hard that I lost my breath and dry-heaved for like 2 minutes. Holliday just walked it off. That’s what separates me from professional athletes: Literally everything.