I’m a sucker for the southwestern egg rolls at Chili’s. Need ’em, hafta have ’em. Sometimes before I walk into the establishment, I ask myself ‘what would happen if I died in a Chili’s? How pathetic would my obituary read? 28-year-old Kinda Fat Blogger Chokes On An Egg Roll And Dies At Chili’s.’ I’m not afraid of dying, I’m just afraid of dying at America’s favorite restaurant chain.
I guess in the end a death is a death is a death and we’re all just floating on a breeze and nothing matters anyway so its best to die doing what you love. Like drugs or your mom. Or how this New York hospital worker passed–by masturbating to porn while on the clock.
According to NY Daily News,
A Bronx hospital worker found dead by a colleague may have died of a heart attack while masturbating, police sources said Wednesday.
The 48-year-old man was found about 10 a.m. Tuesday in a remote area of North Central Bronx Hospital.
A source said no foul play was suspected and that it appeared the man had partly disrobed and was watching pornography on a computer when he died.
If anything is going to prompt us to make light of our own mortality, it’s dying of whacking off. No one gets out alive, and if you can’t laugh at that, you’re probably not alive in the first place. With that said, RIP dude. Rub In Peace.
[h/t NY Daily News]