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Oh Demi Demi. Thank you kindly. Being a white man in America, I feel as if I have a certain unearned confidence when it comes to hotties in the media. Namely, whenever one of my celebrity crushes gets a boyfriend, I get jealous because it means my shot is over. “Shot” being the keyword here, since for some reason I feel entitled enough to believe that I actually have a shot with these chicks. I mean, in my defense, between J-Law complaining how no one will sleep with her and Daenerys advocating for dude’s with dad bods to slide into her DMs, that’s two of them right there are just leaving low hanging fruit for me to jump at.
Which brings me back to Demi. I’ve had a crush on her since she was a Disney star. Partly because we were roughly the same but mostly because the chick had pipes and she was hot. Then we got older and she had some personal stuff to work out, but she also got hotter. Now she’s real normal, still talented and triple as hot. She’s like a fine wine except, instead of being stashed away, she gets better the more she’s out and about. And, for all these years, I was always bummed out that she was dating Fez from 70’s Show but, lo and behold, they broke up. So it’s anyone’s game now, bro. May the best man be able to be a total gentleman and invite her out to dinner. Also, as a reminder, here are some pics of her to remind you just how hot she is.
It's open season for hotties.
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