Do you love Ted Cruz? Like, really, really, really love Ted Cruz? And find him sexually attractive (strictly because of his politics of course)? Well you are in luck because there is a porn with a woman who looks exactly like Ted Cruz out!
Remember last month when 21-year-old Searcy Hayes appeared on Maury and went viral for having an uncanny resemblance to the Republican Senator from Texas? She was on Maury to prove to her fiancé Freddie Green that their son was not fathered by another man. Well, the smut peddlers over at xHamster saw the potential in the Ted Cruz doppelganger and offered her $10,000 to appear in a porn.
It was an offer that the couple could not refuse.
“We want to buy a truck, pay off our house and we might get married,” Green told The Huffington Post. You’re going to pay for a wedding, buy a truck and pay off your mortgage with $10,000? Where do they live Bangladesh? “I never had anyone say, ‘Here’s $10,000! Go make a sex tape.” Really? Shocking. I don’t want to say this was the worst $10,000 spent in the history of mankind, but I think xHamster should have burned $10,000 in a video instead.
The video, which appears to be filmed with a brick, is aptly titled “PenatraTED.” You can see the very NSFW, possibly NSFL video here, you have been warned.
Who do I send my bill for all the therapy I will need after watching this video?
This will be a fun topic of conversation with my mom during our Mother’s Day brunch and she asks me, “How’s work?” And I respond, “It’s going terrific, I wrote an engaging piece yesterday about watching a hardcore porno about a woman who was on Maury that happens to look exactly like former GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz. So you could say that your investment in my college education is really paying huge dividends and making the world a better place.”