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Gone are the days of Guinness World Records being held for things like ‘furthest distance ran’ or ‘most time spent without sleeping’ or ‘most beer chugged in under 20 minutes’. We seem to have entered an age of Guinness World Records where the most notable records being held or broken are so obscure that we didn’t even know there could be a record for such a thing. This is DEFINITELY one of those Guinness World Records.
This dude holds the world record for being able to stick the most things (beer cans, cans of mixed nuts) to his bald head that somehow acts as a suction cup. It’s pretty amazing, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t at least a little bit jealous.
Technically his world record is ‘most canned drinks placed on his head using the suction cup of air’ but we all know that he’s just sticking beer cans to his head:
Usually when I see extremely obscure and completely useless records from Guinness World Records I get pretty annoyed for the same reasons that I get pissed off when someone sends me an email about ‘International Edible Panties Day’ or ‘National Ding Dong Ditch Day’. I just feel like we’re living in an era where everything has to have a day or record, and that pisses me off because most things in life are not significant.
I don’t give a shit that some marketer somewhere is trying to sell more frozen pizzas and thinks that he can do that by emailing ten thousand bloggers with the pitch ‘Celebrate International Frozen Pizza Day!’. Fuck that. Valentine’s Day is already obnoxious enough, a holiday that was manufactured by people trying to sell more chocolate that’s now morphed into one of the most expensive holidays of the year. /end rant