Here’s America’s Favorite And Least Favorite Pizza Toppings, And You Can Keep Your Stupid Pineapples

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You want to get a pizza, but there’s always that one fuckface that wants to get some wacky topping like broccoli or arugula. Then you have to get an entire half of a pizza with this shitty topping even though only one asshole wants this horrible topping. Well those people need to get the clue and select one of America’s favorite toppings and not some bullshit topping. A new Harris Poll by 2,193 adults sought out to find what pizza toppings are the greatest, which are the worst, thick crust or thin crust and where can you find the best slice.

Most Favorite Toppings:

1. Pepperoni
2. Sausage
3. Mushroom
4. Cheese/Plain
5. Onions
6. Bacon
7. Ham/Canadian bacon
8. Pineapple
9. Peppers/Sweet peppers

You have to go pepperoni #1 and sausage #2. You rarely get more than two pizzas so that’s really all you need. Fuck mushrooms. Fuck onions. And how the hell is meatballs not in the mix for best topping? I’d dare to put meatballs as high as #3. And not to get all boushie here, but I’d also put truffle oil on the list.

Least Favorite Toppings:

1. Anchovies
2. Mushrooms
3. Pineapple
4. Onions
5. Olives
6. Pepperoni
7. Peppers/Sweet peppers
8. Sausage
9. Meat (general mentions)
10. Cheese/plain

Nobody wants anchovies. Who actually believes it is a prudent idea to get a pizza that causes you to have stanky “I Just Went Down On A Girl Who’s Been At Coachella For The Past Three Days” breath? Fuck that noise. How exactly is mushrooms the #3 favorite topping, but also the #2 least favorite topping? Let’s have some consistency here people.

Favorite Pizza Crusts:

Regular Crust -18%
Deep Dish – 15%
Stuffed Crust – 14%
Thick Crust – 9%
French Bread – 4%
Sicilian crust – 3%
No Preference – 6%

French bread beats out Sicilian? Really? French bread pizza is for children who make their own pizza by putting tomato sauce and cheese on a baguette or poor people who can’t afford a real pizza. Glad to see that thin crust isn’t even on the list. I guess everyone knows that thin crust is just like crackers.

The best states for pizza in this poll were New York topping the list followed by Illinois, then California, and tied for fourth place were Pennsylvania and Texas. Not to be a homer, but New Jersey should easily make that list.

What Alcoholic Beverage Do You Wash Your Pizza Down With:

1. Beer
2. Non-Craft Domestic Beer
3. Craft Beer
4. Import Beer
5. Wine
6. Table Wine
7. Sparkling wine
8. Flavored Malt Beverages
9. Liquor/Spirits/Cocktails
10. Hard cider
11. Other alcoholic beverages
12. None
13. I don’t eat pizza

Who the fuck doesn’t eat pizza?